[Joe Dell]

I've been using a shampoo which claims to feed my hair. A side effect is the rapid rate of fingernail growth I'm experiencing. My wife says it's nothing to do with the shampoo, and it's all ads for idiots. She also says that products such as branded milk, branded potatoes, bottled water etc are just snake oil, aimed at gullible fools with more money than sense. Like the numpties who pay good money for ready-ripped jeans and sea-salt.

She says if I continue to rub caffeine into my hair she'll start emptying the coffee dregs over my head. Does anyone think that would be effective?

[TheFarmer]

You’d never be latte for work again.

[Irv Lee]

If you are rubbing it in too hard it might be your fingers wearing down, not your nails growing

[eltonioni]

She’s trying to tell you that she likes bald men. Don’t fight nature, especially hers. Consider buying razors and sucking lollipops, because, who loves you baby.

[Flying_john]

Thread Hijack alert......

Speaking of Snake Oil - has anyone else seen the adverts in the weekend papers for a "catalyst tablet" you put in your fuel tank that stops soot, carbon gives smoother running engine etc. Car makers don't want you to know about, story.

Don't advertisers have to be able to back up claims like these in the same way as a "pill that will make you lose weight, grow a big c**k, scents that girls will flock around you etc (insert own wild claim here).

Or am I just imagining there is some sort of control.

If it is true, anyone know the science behind what they are "catalising" out of petrol that makes it so much better ?

[Rob P]

Yes, advertisers need to be able to back up claims, but unlike tele where ads are submitted for prior vetting to the ITCA, even before production, for press there's no approval process and the ASA is reactive, relying on complaints before they act.

If you complain about the ad and the ASA finds the complaint upheld the company promises not to do it again and pockets the cash of the gullible. The publications aren't going to turn away any advertising, they are on their uppers and every farthing counts.

Rob P

I have been out of mainstream advertising for around ten years and any or all of the above could be total bollox. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up payments Typical apr 1,275%. Objects in the mirror may be behind you. Suitable for vegans.

[JAFO]

back up claims like these in the same way as a "pill that will make you lose weight, grow a big c**k, scents that girls will flock around you etc

Got any links for those, John?

[Charles Hunt]

Bored with gazing at the elongate body of a bronzed Greek god in the bath yesterday I read the blurb on Zoe's shampoo bottle which said "based on 3 1/2 washes per week."

So my lockdown question is 'How do you 1/2 wash your hair?'

[Bill McCarthy]

In the days when we could carry out oil changes (every 5000 miles) and other maintenance to the car with ease, Castrol brought out an oil with “Liquid Tungsten”. Too hot to handle ?

[Rob P]

So my lockdown question is 'How do you 1/2 wash your hair?'

Based on 1,820 washes per decade. Do keep up!

Rob P

[OCB]

@Joe Dell

I have zero personal evidence that shampoo with coffee acts as a growth agent for hair or nails - but it was one of the more pleasant surprises I had with one of my wife’s dippy “eco” ideas.

My hair was noticeably softer and generally in better shape after using “coffee shampoo”.

I have very hard water, and I don’t like the water softener.

She’s been buying solid soap and shampoo for years, and when this one appeared, I joked that my hair wouldn’t get enough sleep if I had a shower in the evening.

No idea if it was the coffee, or something else in that mix - but I was disappointed when that little boutique she buys it from no longer stocked it.

[Flying_john]

Got any links for those, John?

I'll be sure and send them your email address Jafo

[Boxkite]

Bored with gazing at the elongate body of a bronzed Greek god in the bath yesterday I read the blurb on Zoe's shampoo bottle which said "based on 3 1/2 washes per week."

So my lockdown question is 'How do you 1/2 wash your hair?'

Simples.
7 washes in 2 weeks.
i.e. every other day.

[Sooty25]

Bored with gazing at the elongate body of a bronzed Greek god in the bath yesterday I read the blurb on Zoe's shampoo bottle which said "based on 3 1/2 washes per week."

So my lockdown question is 'How do you 1/2 wash your hair?'

Who were you sharing the bath with?

[Paul_Sengupta]

Most of us had toy boats in the bath rather than statues of Zeus, but whatever, er, floats your boat.

My father had a tablet like that recently. He was trying to figure out the instructions about taking them on different days in different weeks. I looked at it and said, "That just means every other day."

back up claims like these in the same way as a "pill that will make you lose weight, grow a big c**k, scents that girls will flock around you etc

Got any links for those, John?

I believe the latter scent is whatever oil they use in Lambourghinis. However anecdotal evidence from the internet is that it has the opposite effect on c**k size.