For help, advice and discussion about stuff not related to aviation. Play nice: no religion, no politics and no axe grinding please.
  • 1
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 146
By avtur3
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1651673
I ordered some bread rolls that were so shiny I took them back the baker to complain. I went in with all buns glazing.

I just had a row with my personal trainer. Am in a state of physical pique.

I was trying to lose weight but the exercise bike at my local gym kept calling me nasty names, which put me off going... It's a vicious cycle.

I got booed by my family and friends because the fireworks I lit went off in the wrong sequence... Bang out of order...

A playwright walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of torn trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" The customer replies "Yes! Eumenides?"

My mate got rushed into hospital last night because he swallowed a vacuum cleaner. Just phoned the hospital to see how he is and they say he’s picking up...

They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic. But so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.

Legless parrot available, free to a good home... No perches necessary....

Last time I went to the airport I queued up at a table with some feathery birds laying eggs on it... I’d gone to the chicken desk by mistake...
By PaulB
#1651677
Oh dear, oh dear...... :lol:
User avatar
By OCB
#1657257
In the time honoured tradition of open source development- there comes a time where “differences” sneak into a community and some of them “fork off”...as in start a new child development that no longer relies on the parent.

So, forking off from the “bad joke” thread, what are the best of the worst Brexit jokes out there?

..and I mean humour, not snarkasm
By riverrock
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1657265
“‘In and out’, it’s a very hard decision. It’s like the other day, my flatmate was making me a peppermint tea, and he said ‘would you like bag leaving in, or taken out?’ If you leave the bag in, on the whole the cup of tea itself will get stronger, and it might appear that the bag is getting weaker, but it’s now part of a stronger cup of tea. Whereas if you take the bag out, the tea’s now quite weak, but the bag itself goes directly in the bin.” – James Acaster
PaulB, NickS, Newfy liked this
User avatar
By OCB
#1657268
Why is it called Brexit anyway?

Shouldn’t it be called “United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland-exit”?

I guess the printers complained about that one...
User avatar
By OCB
#1657313
riverrock wrote:@OCB I think your fork has just been re-integrated. Some things just are better together.


Yeah, there’s a word for that.

There is the Latin equivalent, but I prefer the Scots version...”th fu??”

Ok. Let’s go with the flow then!

Brexit in Dundee...
“Ma burd is richt ower’wicht. She sits oan a chair, an’ she brexit”

(I take no ownership or responsibility for that joke - it was a native Dundonian who told me it, aricht?)
  • 1
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 146