[OCB]

A vampire bat came back to the cave, face covered in blood.
His mate, all excited asked how he got it.
“Easy, you see the big tree right in front of the cave entrance?”
“Yeah!Yeah!”
“Well, I bleedin well didn’t!”

[PeteSpencer]

I laughed out loud at the Ken Dodd joke quoted in today's DT:

"Why are politicians like babies' nappies? "

"They both need to be changed regularly and for the same reason."

Peter

[Dave W]

You'd think she could afford mains electricity.

[Chris Martyr]

So Dave,,do you think they did her in series or parallel ?

[kanga]

..and how many cells did they need ?

[OCB]

I had a girlfriend who couldn’t get pregnant.

That made her impregnable?

Or inconceivable?

[Flintstone]

You'd think she could afford mains electricity.
<snip>

AAA, bless her.

[Bob Bevan]

Small homage to the late, great Ken Dodd:

"Isn't this a lovely day to run up the steps of the Kremlin, knock on the door and shout "Is Lenin?"

[OCB]

This will probably get donked, even though Marie Claire etc have been publishing much worse for decades.

Yup, got it in one

[OCB]

Ok, since I got donked for an 80s cheesy joke, here’s another one.

It’s getting close to red nose day. A man walks into a petrol station and asks for red nose for his Lada.

“I’m sorry sir, that’s 2 Lada for a Red Nose”

[PaulB]

Small homage to the late, great Ken Dodd:

"Isn't this a lovely day to run up the steps of the Kremlin, knock on the door and shout "Is Lenin?"

That’s one of the better bad jokes in this thread. It made me laugh out loud (literally).

[GrahamB]

‘Ken Dodd died yesterday’

‘Did he?’

‘No, Doddy’

[The Other Ian]

Di's dead.
Dodi's dead
The Dodo's dead.
Now Doddy's dead.
Dido must be worried.

[Pete L]

Do you feel no remorse?

[Bob Bevan]

Small homage to the late, great Ken Dodd:

"Isn't this a lovely day to run up the steps of the Kremlin, knock on the door and shout "Is Lenin?"

That’s one of the better bad jokes in this thread. It made me laugh out loud (literally).

I was lucky enough to see the great man at the Royal Court Theatre in Liverpool during the mid 70's. Three and a half hours of back to back jokes, brilliant!

Another one was:

"Isn't this a lovely day to run up to a front door, stick a cucumber through the letterbox and shout 'The aliens have landed'"