Sun Apr 18, 2021 8:14 pm
#1841274
This is a post script to my post in early March, at that time my 85 year old M-i-L was in hospital, extremely poorly and weak, though not Covid related. In the hospital environment, as was the case for all patients, no visitors were allowed, that was very difficult to deal with.
A few days after my previous post on this thread M-i-L (Mum) was released from hospital, because there was no clinical reason to keep her there. She was extremely weak but no longer requiring clinical support, so she was released to a nursing home to be assessed in terms on further ongoing support.
Once she was in the nursing home we knew there was the possibility of visits, even if they were infrequent it was better than the hospital regime. The minute she was admitted to the nursing home a nurse took it upon herself to get my wife to visit asap, literally within hours. My wife was so excited to be able to visit, however the excitement was short lived. My wife visited and found a person she hardly recognised, such was the frailty of her mum's condition, my wife was in pieces when she arrived home.
Within a couple of days the nursing home called to say that Mum was being treated with end-of-life care. Having made that decision visiting was opened to several people every day, subject to the 30 minute Covid test before going in.
We've had four weeks of daily visits allowing all close family members to visit Mum pretty much as they wanted which has been a huge benefit to all concerned.
This morning Mrs Avtur received a call from the nursing home (she had the number assigned to its own ringtone) to say that Mum's breathing was deteriorating and we should make our way in asap, we live just 4 miles from the nursing home. We were in the car within a couple of minutes and on our way, on the journey we received another call to say that the nurse was with mum and holding her hand. On arrival at the home we were ushered straight in, save for the short time it took to don the necessary PPE, When we walked in it was obvious that Mum had just passed away, literally within the couple of minutes before we arrived.
We then spent an hour with Mum talking through all manner of reminiscences, it was hugely comforting to be able to do that. It is impossible to put a value on this time we were given to sit with her but it was so good that we had this option.
My reason for making this post is not to do with our loss, because I believe we've been incredibly lucky to fall outside some of the hospital boundaries imposed because of Covid. But, I (we) know that there are 10's of thousands of people who have lost loved ones over the last 15 month and who have not had any contact with their loved ones as their passing approached. I can't begin to think how distressing that has been.
Out government has many lessons to learn as a result of our reaction to and dealing with the consequences of Covid. One of those lessons must surely be a better and more dignified and compassionate way of dealing with those who are left behind