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By Paul_Sengupta
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1841566
avtur3 wrote:I (we) know that there are 10's of thousands of people who have lost loved ones over the last 15 month and who have not had any contact with their loved ones as their passing approached. I can't begin to think how distressing that has been.


As many here know, my father passed away in November. I didn't get to see him for about the last six weeks of his life. He wasn't thought to be end of life, but he suddenly had a stroke and that was it. Annoyingly, about two days before he died, I was told on the phone that it might just be possible for me to go and visit. I was just about to look into what I'd have to do to enable it when they phoned me to tell me the worst.

For those six weeks, I relied on phonecalls to the ward and relayed messages. A few days earlier my dad had relayed the message, "When are you coming to visit?" and I had to ask the nurses to explain why I couldn't come. That's what sparked the idea that it might actually be possible. But it wasn't to be.
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By AndyR
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1841582
Similar story Paul. Having not been allowed to see mum for 6 months last year due Covid and restrictions on entering care homes, I received a call one early evening to say that she had lost her spark. We agreed that I would be allowed to go and see her early the next morning. At 0330 that morning I received a call to say she had died. It’s a hard thing to deal with.
By avtur3
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1842037
@AndyR @Paul_Sengupta please accept my condolences for your loss, it is beyond heartbreaking to hear your stories, and knowing how many more have experienced such circumstances is very difficult to put into perspective how this awful situation has come to be.

Mrs A and I have talked about this and on the one hand we feel incredibly fortunate at how our precise circumstances have panned out, but on the other hand we are almost left with feelings of guilt that our situation has not been as dreadful as others.

I have strong feelings about how these situations have been managed, but I should probably save them for a different thread, my thoughts are with anyone who has suffered a loss during these incredibly difficult times
By johnm
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1842045
I have a couple of chums who own/operate care homes so I hear some of this from other side. They don't have a great deal of room for manoeuvre but have made considerable investment in PPE, got staff vaccinated and regularly tested and set up bubbles for visitors. They are the first to admit that it's not ideal but they have managed to keep Covid out thus far and accommodate a limited level of visiting for all residents.
By avtur3
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1842203
johnm wrote:I have a couple of chums who own/operate care homes so I hear some of this from other side. They don't have a great deal of room for manoeuvre but have made considerable investment in PPE, got staff vaccinated and regularly tested and set up bubbles for visitors. They are the first to admit that it's not ideal but they have managed to keep Covid out thus far and accommodate a limited level of visiting for all residents.


I'm sure it is very difficult from the care home side, but I will give a shameless plug for the Ashton House nursing home in Haywards Heath, they have been absolutely brilliant in giving access to my M-i-L.

Having been discharged from hospital because there was no longer a need for clinical care, M-i-L was about as frail as was possible while still being alive. The folks at the nursing home soon assessed M-i-L as requiring end-of-lifecare.

Once that determination had been made they were unbelievably accommodating about visits. This meant that during the last four weeks of M-i-L's life she was visited on a daily basis by several close family members, whether or not M-i-L knew who was visiting may be questioned but being able to visit was a tremendous comfort those who were able to visit.
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