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The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 6:19 pm
by Spooky
Last week I swallowed some plutonium.

It gave me atomic ache :oops:

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 6:27 pm
by Morten
Courtesy of Flintstone.:

The inventor of Chinese whispers died today...
Pass it on!

(obligatory :oops:.

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 6:31 pm
by Pete L
I got told off for fly-tipping. The waiter complained.

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 6:55 pm
by seanxair
TV viewers in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the viewers in Abu Dhabi do

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:49 pm
by Korenwolf
My uncle used to live next to an aircraft factory...





...he had Fairey's at the bottom of his garden :P

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:52 pm
by Kittyhawk
The guy who invented predictive texting died last week. His funfair is next monkey.

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:13 pm
by Bill Haddow
Somebody sent me a Jiffy bag full of plasticine. I don't know what to make of it.

Bill H

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:15 pm
by FlightDek
Dyslexics of the world Untie!



PS why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:44 pm
by NickS
Did you hear about the dyslexic who sold his soul to Santa?

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:45 pm
by NickS
Staff wanted for the new circumcision clinic opening locally - they only pay the minimum wage but you get a share of the tips.

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 11:05 pm
by PaulB
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

(Have you tried asking Alexa to tell you a joke? Her jokes make all the ones above sound really good!)

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Fri Jan 26, 2018 11:26 pm
by Paul_Sengupta
Spooky wrote:Last week I swallowed some plutonium.

It gave me atomic ache :oops:


Damned silly thing to eat. You should try the fission chips instead.

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:13 am
by Bill Haddow
Jokes which have to be told with a Scottish accent, and which are probably only understood within a 10 mile radius of Glasgow:

What do structural design and linoleum have in common? You need to have a flair for them.

What's the difference between a plain and a pan loaf ? They are 2 entirely different breeds.

Is that a cake, or a meringue ? No, you're right, it's a cake.

(Flak jacket, helmet, and full PPE time)

Bill H

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Sat Jan 27, 2018 5:27 am
by PeteSpencer
What is the difference between a duck?

One of its legs is the same........

Peter :wink:

Re: The bad joke thread

PostPosted:Sat Jan 27, 2018 6:28 am
by seanxair
Did you hear about the mouse that ate the Viagra. Says 'where's that big pussy now?'