Wed Sep 23, 2020 2:55 pm
“Knock knock”. “who’s there?” “Maybe a big horse “. “Maybe a big horse who?”
“Maybe a big horse I’m a Londoner “
I went for a job interview yesterday the bloke said "it's a £7.20 start but it goes up to £14 an hour in six months "He said, "when can you start?"
I said "in six months"...
Why is it that Southern Comfort tastes nice but normal comfort tastes disgusting?
The man who invented the taser has died. His family and friends are stunned.
My son invited his posh friend to his birthday party.
I asked him, "What's your favourite game, Tarquin?"
He said "Partridge, but I am partial to grouse in season."
I offered to help a magician with his trick which involved a circular saw. It didn’t go well. My other half thinks we should sue.
If you’re ever chased by a gang of Taxidermists, do not play dead.
Just heard that Covid can be transmitted by processed meat, so be careful we don't want another Spamdemic.
I had an unusual form of tinatus. Kept hearing Auld Lang Syne. Went to A+E about it, they sent me to the Burns unit.
When I was a young boy my mother used to wash my hair with lager! It was not till many years later that I discovered that I’d been fostered.
I can generally make up jokes quite well but jokes about white sugar are rare, even worse, jokes about brown sugar, well demerara.
Got a new telescope. It has a high magnification and you can make out fine details on the red planet. I could even see a small tin of oxtail with a pouch. Apparently the Marsoupial had already been discovered.
Maybe The Soup Dragon !
I add a little excitement, a little spice to your lives and all you do is complain - Q