For help, advice and discussion about stuff not related to aviation. Play nice: no religion, no politics and no axe grinding please.
  • 1
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 62
User avatar
By mick w
#1587808
Two bits of String go into a Bar
One is straight & tidy
The other is all screwed up & tatty
Barman turns to the tidy bit & says " we don't serve bits of String mate "
Looks at the tatty bit & says , " I just told your friend we don't serve String & you're String aren't you "
He said " no , I'm a frayed Knot !!".
User avatar
By PeteSpencer
#1587836
Bloke takes his pet giraffe into the pub : unfortunately the giraffe gets very pi $$ed ,and keels over blocking the doorway.

Landlord : 'Ere, you can't leave that lyin' there'..

Bloke: 'Its not a lion, it's a giraffe'
By Nick
#1588213
What's the difference between a rich Scotsman and a poor Scotsman?

A rich Scotsman has a canopy over his bed.
A poor Scotsman has a can o' pee under his bed.

Nick
By cockney steve
#1588228
^^^^^^^^^ And a dead Scotsman cannae pee at all .

Wall-plaque (prize) Butlins amusement park, Clacton ~1957-8

Another, same source :
Duelling : -"we drink all night and pistol dawn "
By cockney steve
#1588425
Nope! that's grammatically incorrect. If you wish to use the past tense of "drink", you would then need to use the past tense of"pistol" (there isn't one) the joke rests on the double-entendre of vocalising it and one would not, in the day, carry a" pisdtol" no matter how rustic the dialect.
  • 1
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 62