FLYER Forums

Flying_john wrote:

Yet another lurker on Non Aviation thread

Patient "DoctorI have a strawberry growing on my head"

Doctor " I can give you some cream for that"


With apologies to Tommy Cooper.....

Guy goes to the doctor
“Say aah”
“Why?”
”cos me dog’s just died”

A Yorkshireman goes to the goldsmith and asks him to make him a golden statue of his whippet.

The goldsmith asks "18 carat?"

The Yorkshireman replies "nay lad, chewin a bone will do"

Just seen this which made me smile....

I've got genetic diarrhoea. It's in my jeans...

Boxkite wrote:

seanxair wrote:I've got genetic diarrhoea. It's in my jeans...

viewtopic.php?p=1667341#p1667341

Was told it yesterday by a non flier!

seanxair wrote:

Boxkite wrote:

seanxair wrote:I've got genetic diarrhoea. It's in my jeans...

viewtopic.php?p=1667341#p1667341

Was told it yesterday by a non flier!

Thanks for posting, its better than checking back through 28 pages to make sure its not duplicated

lutonwho wrote:A seal walks in to a club......
LW

Boom boom!

There was a girl so dumb that she had to stop using a vibrator as it chipped her teeth.

Q: With Britain leaving the EU how much space was created?

A: Exactly 1GB

How many insects do you need to rent out an apartment?

TenAnts.

This “debutante” goes for a checkup “down under”.
“Aye, yer aviaries are ok” says the doc”
“Don’t you mean ovaries” she says
“Well, there’s been a cockertwo in there” he replies.

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.