If you think you've seen a tense crowd obviously you didn't go to the funeral of the bloke who invented the Jack In The Box.
I always thought Snapchat was a support group for people with brittle bone disease.
There’s a chip shop near me called ‘Subtraction’
It’s a take - away
I was at the funeral of he chap who invented Strepsils. It was rather strange, there was no Coffin.
"Love?" I shouted, "do you know how to turn Alexa off?"
"Try walking through the lounge naked," she shouted back.
I can now give you the leading cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
A friend of mine at college was always called Claire with an E, mainly because she was a drug dealer.
Yes covid19 is bad, but in the future its a boon for bingo callers.
Well just lately, I've been pulling out all the stops, that will answer why there has been more accidents at road junctions.
On Christmas morning we'd all wake up asking, has he been ? has he been ? Because we knew Dad wouldn't put the presents out till he'd had a Carp.
With the benefit of hindsight "Sexy Fenders" was not the best name for a guitar shop.
Patient: (Waking up) "So how did my operation go?"
Surgeon: "Fine, your nose only lit up twice
I went to the zoo today and asked if they had any talking parrots.
The zookeeper said they didn't and was most apologetic, but seeing my disappointment said they had a woodpecker that knew morse code.
Good news Scotland fans!
If you purchased your Scotland shirt during the Euros, you should still fall in the 14 day returns guarantee.