For help, advice and discussion about stuff not related to aviation. Play nice: no religion, no politics and no axe grinding please.
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User avatar
By Trent772
#1910211
eltonioni wrote:
> Its the post's like this that youll never unsee
>
> [img]https://i.imgur.com/oyniHLd.jpg[/img]


And apparently, it is the posts like this that they didn't see...... :mrgreen:

[img]https://i.imgur.com/FgPphZI.png[/img]
User avatar
By JAFO
#1910215
eltonioni wrote:
> Its the post's like this that youll never unsee
>
> [img]https://i.imgur.com/oyniHLd.jpg[/img]

My favourite is Clutche's
User avatar
By OCB
#1910944
The Russians were attacking a defended salient. They saw a sole Ukrainian soldier pop his head up from time to time, and give the Russians the middle finger then disappear.

The Russians sent 10 men to take the hill, none returned.

The Ukrainian appeared the next day on the salient doing a little dance and sticking his middle finger, which infuriated the Russians, so they sent 20 men.

They didn’t come back.

Next day, the Ukrainian soldier did his little dance and stuck up both middle fingers.

Utterly infuriated - the Russian General ordered 1000 men to assault the salient.

A huge battle ensued, smoke and munitions all over the place.

Out of the smoke crawled a lone Russian soldier, barely alive.

He got to the General and said


“it’s a trap….

.it’s not a single Ukrainian soldier…



….there’s two of them!
Aerials, riverrock, eltonioni and 4 others liked this
User avatar
By OCB
#1912501
What's the difference between Iron Man and Tinfoil Man?

Iron Man defeats the baddies, whereas Tinfoil Man just foils their plans...
By TopCat
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1912502
OCB wrote:….there’s two of them!

But that's not a bad joke. It's actually very good. It might not age well, however.
User avatar
By GrahamB
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1912512
TopCat wrote:
OCB wrote:….there’s two of them!

But that's not a bad joke. It's actually very good. It might not age well, however.

It ages well by mutating.

In my schooldays it was Romans and Barbarians. :wink:
OCB liked this
User avatar
By Rob P
#1912547
I am just off on a trip and, as a precaution against running up a huge bill I asked the hotel if I could have the porn channel disabled.

They came back and told me they don't cater for perverts and I would just have to watch normal porn.

Rob P
flybymike, GrahamB, Trent772 and 2 others liked this
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By OCB
#1912811
My kid doing homework. "This is too long and way too hard!"

My brain:

Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it


Me:

"That's what you're Mum said."
Earl Grey liked this
By Loco parentis
#1913395
A girl who - her best friends agreed - was a bit challenged in the looks department, was advised to consult a new Chinese doctor just arrived in the area and who specialised in these matters.

She rang and asked for Dr. Chang.

"Harro, I is docor Chang how may I 'elp proo ?

She explained that she needed a diagnosis because of her inability to keep a boyfriend. Dr. Chang said: " I specarise in disorders of this kind, you come tomollow at 2 o'crock".

She arrived and rang the bell. Doctor Chang answered and looked her up and down: " I fink I see der plobrem. Come to my surgely. I wan you take of all your crose. I wan you get down on your hands and knees and clawl velly quickery aclos der loom, when you get uverside, I wan you clawl velly quickery back to me and stand up".

"I fink I see der plobrem".

The girl went white and felt faint. "What is it Dr. Chang, please tell me, I'm worried ".

"I fink you have edzakary disease, velly selious no cure". Edzakary disease is when your face rook edzakary rike your ****".



.

The girl did that.
User avatar
By OCB
#1913558
Why do scuba divers launch themselves backwards from a small boat?

Well, if they fell forwards, it would hurt when they hit their heads on the middle of the boat…
User avatar
By OCB
#1913678
First woman on the moon.

"Houston we have a problem"

What?

"Never mind"

What's the problem?

"Nothing"

Please tell us.

"I'm fine"

…silence that could destroy mountains….
Nick liked this
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