Better lesson today.
10 circuits, mostly poor, last couple much better, but greased my last landing which felt really, really amazing. Even used the rudders to land straight, woop!
Taxying was also improved but still an issue, getting the differential braking right is a pain, especially when turning on the narrow runway for a backtrack, I keep forgetting to back off the throttle completely before braking because I'm focussing on where my feet are and what the FI is telling me. Then getting the invariable telling off as he loses his patience that I'm not pointed in the direction he wanted, or not raising the nose, or not braking properly and he takes over.
The mostly poor attempts at circuits/landings were due to being too high on final because it is *still* taking too long to get my landing config right. I've identified that this is because I'm still fumbling downwind checks, turning base in a rush, then taking too long to find the runway, or navigate myself onto the correct base heading, or just correcting the base heading. There's a delay in my decision making while I think through the correct actions, that I just can't seem to overcome. My FI told me I was saying the things out loud ('I think I'm too high, I think I'm on the wrong heading') but he couldn't understand why I'm taking so long to act on it. Me neither. I think I was waiting for affirmation, and I think it's because I'm still conscious that wrong decisions at 800ft are dangerous. But my confidence in my own ability feels very shaky.
Can't remember much of the detail of the lesson. Just a ton of too-high approaches and the runway suddenly appearing at a jaunty angle rather than the neat rectangle I was aiming for. First circuit I automatically (and stupidly) turned right, I think an auto-reaction because this was where we started last week due to the weather, but of course it's a left hand circuit. So I had to correct. It felt rusty and nervy, and yes, embarrasing. But I settled a bit and it came back quickly and there's some muscle memory beginning to form.
Think I only actually missed one approach completely. By about circuit 5 my brain was starting to seize and I was forgetting simple things like raising the flaps following the touch and go. Then my brain would kick in that I couldn't climb, raise the flaps and trim, only to forget to look for a landmark to turn onto. Argh!
The other dodgy ones were mostly down to being unable to find the runway, not being stabilised on the approach (which led to a quite pleasant experience of flying gently and speedily along at about 6 feet off the runway while the speed built up for the go around, like a Star Wars pod racer
) and flying odd shaped circuits because my speeds/climbs/direction finding was skew whiff. But I felt it starting to click towards the end, once I'd 'got' the shape of the airfield it became easier to spot. My FI thinks it's my sunglasses that are too dark and found it incomprehensible why I was wearing them when the sun wasn't out (it was bright and they do help cut through the haze a bit). I think I just have runway blindness, but am going to try without next time.
I still feel WAY behind the curve on approach - spending too much time trying to ascertain whether I'm too high/low/fast/slow/right/left, dealing with the inevitable exasperated comments (loaded with a sigh that quietly suggests 'why are you STILL not getting this), dealing with the airspeed.
I
didn't almost kill anyone in a go-around stall this week, which was nice, only one little oops moment when I turned to look behind after a touch and go, strained against the harness and took the yoke backwards with me. Turned back around to see a bit too much sky. Stomach churn.
We had to switch to a right hander for the last circuit because of a complaint (I inadvertently flew over the local village a few times on wonky circuits) and my sense of direction went out of the window. (FI told the owner he thought we'd be okay because my approaches were so ridiculously high!
).
Found it difficult to lean forward and get a view out of the right hand window, seatbelt was too restrictive, couldn't ID the runway at all, by which point I was far too high *again* but I recovered with a power off glide, and that actually ended up being my greaser. I think my best flying happened when my instructor told me I was on my own, then I wasn't waiting for criticism and I just flew it. And landed it. And I landed it rather well.
The one bit of praise I
did get was when I asked if we were going around again and was told, maybe it's best to end the lesson on a high note.
I know it's a small world on here but I am struggling a bit with my FI and the almost complete lack of positive feedback. I try to get on with people but there's very little rapport building up between us - I know rapport isn't strictly necessary - but it honestly just feels like the lessons are a massive chore. There's no joy or sense of fun in it like there was with my last instructor.
There was a point today I had to really hold back from asking to land so I could just walk away and call it a day. I felt so damn demotivated. But then we landed and he chipperly told me after two more lessons I'll probably be ready for a solo. I couldn't feel less ready for anything! Go figure.