Primarily for general aviation discussion, but other aviation topics are also welcome.
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By Flintstone
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1617905
5. Fuel in the bowser.

4. Runway behind you.

3. Altitude above you.

2. Bottles of water to 'tie down' aircraft.

And the winner is..............<drum roll>



Image
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By Dave Phillips
#1617910
Sad thing is that they probably had to pay the FBO for the platinum service.

One of our favourite, circular discussions is at Middle Eastern airports who insist on a pushback (they don’t have the equipment for a Diamond and quite often you can turn on a stand designed for A380s), charging $100 for the privilege. Once over that hurdle, you then get ATC insisting on start before the 15ft ‘manual’ pushback, which was the $100 compromise.

I’ve seen all sorts of ramp job creation schemes, normally initiated with a “Good afternoon captain, how will you be paying?”
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By Flintstone
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1617917
Dave Phillips wrote:Sad thing is that they probably had to pay the FBO for the platinum service.

One of our favourite, circular discussions is at Middle Eastern airports who insist on a pushback (they don’t have the equipment for a Diamond and quite often you can turn on a stand designed for A380s), charging $100 for the privilege. Once over that hurdle, you then get ATC insisting on start before the 15ft ‘manual’ pushback, which was the $100 compromise.

I’ve seen all sorts of ramp job creation schemes, normally initiated with a “Good afternoon captain, how will you be paying?”



We go to lots of places where pushback is mandatory but is actually not needed.

At one the ground crew were very clearly expecting a 'gift' before getting to work but they'd peesed us off on the inbound leg so we were inclined not to play along. It turned into a Mexican stand off with them upping the ante by going to lunch .

What they didn't know was that my oppo spent his formative years as a rampie at Heathrow (you wouldn't get that in an airline). As soon as the ramp bandits were out of sight he jumped in to the tug, fired it up and sped over to our stand where I was ready, towbar connected to the nosewheel. We pushed back, disconnected the towbar and my mate parked up the tug while I called for start clearance.

Someone must have tipped them off as they appeared just in time to see us taxi away. We pointedly ignored the frantic calls from the handling agent on Comm #2. The next time we were there (a year later) we had a new aircraft so our tyres remained un-slashed.
By ChrisT
#1618330
Flintstone wrote:What they didn't know was that my oppo spent his formative years as a rampie at Heathrow (you wouldn't get that in an airline). As soon as the ramp bandits were out of sight he jumped in to the tug, fired it up and sped over to our stand where I was ready, towbar connected to the nosewheel. We pushed back, disconnected the towbar and my mate parked up the tug while I called for start clearance.


Reminds me of an episode of Cabin Pressure! :D
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By Flintstone
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1618342
ChrisT wrote:
Flintstone wrote:What they didn't know was that my oppo spent his formative years as a rampie at Heathrow (you wouldn't get that in an airline). As soon as the ramp bandits were out of sight he jumped in to the tug, fired it up and sped over to our stand where I was ready, towbar connected to the nosewheel. We pushed back, disconnected the towbar and my mate parked up the tug while I called for start clearance.


Reminds me of an episode of Cabin Pressure! :D




He has also been known to ‘borrow’ stepladders and clean windscreens.
By Maxthelion
#1618353
My gut reaction to the OP was 'ahh bless, somebody needed something to do..'

And then the mandatory handling/pushback stuff reminded me of why I don't ever fly into 'proper' airports.*



*The ones that still take light singles.
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By Full Metal Jackass
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1618362
Flintstone wrote:
ChrisT wrote:
Flintstone wrote:What they didn't know was that my oppo spent his formative years as a rampie at Heathrow (you wouldn't get that in an airline). As soon as the ramp bandits were out of sight he jumped in to the tug, fired it up and sped over to our stand where I was ready, towbar connected to the nosewheel. We pushed back, disconnected the towbar and my mate parked up the tug while I called for start clearance.


Reminds me of an episode of Cabin Pressure! :D




He has also been known to ‘borrow’ stepladders and clean windscreens.


Do you need stepladders to clean the windscreens of cars queueing at the Hammersmith Circle? :lol:
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By Gertie
#1618398
Sir Morley Steven wrote:“About as much use as chocks on a helicopter” is a bit more pc than my usual “tits on a nun” one.

There are nuns who've had babies, eg who have become a nun as a retirement occupation after their husband has died. This variety of nun is, in my view, better placed to give sex and relationships advice to young people than priests who have never married.
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By Flintstone
FLYER Club Member  FLYER Club Member
#1618399
Full Metal Jackass wrote:Do you need stepladders to clean the windscreens of cars queueing at the Hammersmith Circle? :lol:



He does, he’s Ronnie Corbett’s body double.
By Barcli
#1618400
I think Flinty and SMS need to fight over the JCB to fill in the hole they have dug..... first religion , then dead short people
I call for the mods to lock this thread its gone on far to far (?)